the point...points forward.

Sometimes when I sit down to write, I honestly have no idea where to begin.

There is so much running through my head, and it’s all so complicated I imagine that any stranger reading it would have no clue what they were reading.  But if I truly started at the beginning, those of you that actually know me might get bored and not get to the POINT that I’ve come to realize as of THIS MORNING!

So, I’m gonna start with “THE POINT” and then work from the beginning, forward.

“So let’s keep focused on the goal, those of us who want everything God has for us”

~Philippians 3:15 The Message Translation

Some years ago, I lost sight of my goal. I gave up on some of the things God has for me. Well, actually it was really just one thing. One major thing.

6 1/2 years ago I had a goal. I believed that God wanted me to succeed in that goal and I joined together with a group of other people who also had that same goal. I mostly reached that goal, for a moment. But in the midst of that process I was deeply hurt and I got stuck in shame for a long time because of it. The result: my goal was fleeting and I stop believing that it was mine to hold onto.

Somewhere along the way, I started believing that if my goal was something God wanted for me, that He would just “give it to me” and I wouldn’t run the risk of taking any of the glory for myself.  Eventually I started believing that God didn’t want that goal to be mine. (Since He didn’t just “give it to me”)

But the truth is, that goal is mine. That goal is part of His plan for me. As I have lived pretending that it’s not important to me anymore, I have become stubborn and rigid. My refusal to even glance at that goal anymore meant I needed to build a really big brick wall…. A very thick brick wall that pushed me further and further backwards away from the goal!

Part of me even started to blame God for how far away I’ve gotten from my goal. I would be lying if I denied ever thinking “if He had just “given it to me” then I could have held onto it”. I’d be lying if I denied ever thinking “this brick wall was built by HIM to make sure I don’t ever reach that goal”. And thoughts like that probably gave birth to thoughts like “He is a mean God, because He wants to take that goal away from me”.

Each thought like that, added a brick to my wall. And led me backwards another step.

But then I read,

“…He rescued me because He delighted in me” 2 Samuel 22:20

And I knew…. Really knew in my soul, that those words were true for me too. I felt His delight in me. And then I also read,

“You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop, with my God I can scale a wall” 2 Samuel 22:29-30

And I became aware of 2 things. 1^st- the Lord is involved. 2^nd- David DOES something… he advances and is able to do the impossible.

I kept reading.

“It is God who arms me with strength….. He enables me to stand on the heights…. He trains my hands for battle, my arms can bend a bow of bronze…You armed me with strength for battle…. And I destroyed my foes.” (Excerpts from 2 Samuel 22)

While I’ve been sitting behind my brick wall, believing that God didn’t want me to reach my goal because he wasn’t behaving like a genie would have… I failed to utilize the strength He had given me. I failed to “train for battle” and I completely dismissed all thoughts of “destroying my foes” myself.

For the past 6 years, I have been creating and trusting in lies and moving backward. Apparently I’m not unlike the Israelites as written about in Jeremiah.

“But look, you are trusting in deceptive words that are worthless” Jer. 7:8

“they went backward, not forward” Jer. 7:24

“they cling to deceit” Jer. 8:5

That last verse sent me to explore the Message translation in context, where I really woke up this morning.

“So why does this people go backward, and just keep on going backward? They stubbornly hold onto their illusions, refuse to change direction. I listened carefully, but heard not so much as a whisper. No one expressed one word of regret. Not a single “I’m sorry” did I hear. They just kept at it, blindly and stupidly banging their heads against a brick wall”. Jer 8:5-6

With that, the truth was revealed to me. The Lord’s light came bursting through my brick wall with His Word. I repented wholeheartedly… for all of those things.

And now I come to the point again. Today I have opened my eyes to take hold of the vision of my goal. The goal that my God has set before me, because He delights in me and wants what’s best for me.

“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” Philippians 3:13

So, does anyone want to join with me in looking forward and moving forward?! (Request to join my group on Facebook!)

(PS- at the end of my journey with the Lord and His Word this morning, He prompted me to put on a new CD I had just downloaded for free yesterday... this is the song that came on 1st.... and I'm certain it was a clear message to me from my Savior!