strength, or weakness?

To begin this post I am searching my memory for a time that I can remember only focusing on simply one task. It's difficult to do. I sorta pride myself on being a good multi-tasker. Both in my work and in my "play" I am usually doing more than one thing at a time.

If I'm doing housework- I'm not just cleaning; I'm also listening to music, probably singing and going down memory lane at the same time as I come across items that need to be put away.

If I'm working at my desk- I'm not just doing one task at a time; I'm on the phone and checking my email. I'm posting on Facebook (yeah, that's part of my job) and running a webinar, I'm filing and running reports- simultaneously.

If I'm watching TV- I'm not just watching TV; I'm also on my phone, checking emails, or playing mindless games like Candy Crush or Angry Birds or Bejeweled.

If I'm reading a book- I'm not just reading; I'm looking for impactful, favorite sections of the book to highlight and talk (or blog) about later!

If I'm having my "quiet time"- I'm not just being with the Lord; I'm also journaling, worshiping along with whatever music I've chosen for that morning, and holding back the tidal wave of other "to do" lists in my mind. I might also be stopping the dog from chewing the cat, or stopping the cat from scratching the dog!

Even when I'm hiking and enjoying nature- I'm not just enjoying nature; I'm also taking pictures!

Lots of people tell me that it's a gift, and a talent, to be able to multitask the way I do. It's such an effecient use of my time... a time saver, one could say. I get more work done in less time than most people do.

Or do I?

This "strength" of mine helped me take care of my kids while still getting the laundry done, the bills paid and the house cleaned. It helps me organize and run events for work. As a photographer it was crucial, to pay attention to my clients expressions, the angle of the light, the wind and noticing any distracting details that might show up in the photo. At my old job- it was an absolute necessity.... we called it "Daniel Dancing"... and I was a pro at it. I was teaching, planning, monitoring anxiety and attention levels of my students, defusing extreme behaviors before they got out of control, shuffling students between the classroom, therapy sessions, music lessons, computer room, etc. Without multi-tasking I would not have survived. I NEEDED my brain to be able to "take it all in" at all times.


But, what am I giving up when I pursue this constant "busyness"? What am I missing out on by being so driven to do more than one thing at a time? Am I getting more "done" in a minute or losing a minute of joy?

I'm now reading a book called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp and I'm starting to recognize that this "strength" of mine might actually be a weakness. It's got me thinking- in a much slower way than usual.

What if time really could stand still like the way I can capture it in an image. I am keenly aware of the sound of the ticking on this particular clock when I wake up before everyone else and sit in my chair by the window with my coffee, journal and Bible. But in this picture, it is still and quiet.

Frozen.

And I love to look at it. Perhaps that's what I like about photography so much. Photography stops time for a moment and allows me to take it all in. I can see the second hand stopped permanently hanging in the balance between the 25th and 30th second of that exact minute. I see the glare of the light pouring through my window, bouncing off the reflective edges of the metal frame. The rest of the image is bathed in that light- bright white, soothing light. It's the light that truly makes the picture. It's the light that makes me feel warm and at peace when I look at this picture.


Maybe when I'm multi-tasking- I'm missing out appreciating the beauty of the moment.

The here and now.

Ann Voskamp writes, "Time is a relentless river. It rages on, a respecter of no one. And this, this is the only way to slow time: When I fully enter time's swift current, enter into the current moment with the weight of all my attention, I slow the torrent with the weight of me all here. I can slow the torrent by being all here. I only live the full life when I live fully in the moment. And when I'm always looking for the next glimpse of glory, I slow and enter. And time slows. Weigh down this moment in time with attention full, and the whole of time's river slows, slows, slows."

Her words scream at my busy mind "SLOW DOWN!"
and they whisper,
"appreciate, savor, eucharisteo{a}~ this is where God is".

And I'm inspired to do just one thing: 

Be Here.

"Wherever you are, be all there" ~Ann Voskamp

And so I begin, the search for my 1000 gifts- one moment at a time.

1. the sunlight as it falls across my garden in the morning.

{a}  Eucharisteo is something that Ann Voskamp is talking about A LOT in the book One Thousand Gifts. It means literally: "thanksgiving, to give thanks". The actual Greek word is made up of the words "grace and joy". It's a word I'm SAVORING as I learn about it!